Never tell a story that is not about you. Guest opinion

Never Tell a Story Like It's Not About You
By Derek Powazek
Here's how I think about it: Every story we tell is really about ourselves, whether we call it "storytelling" or wrap it in the cloak of "fiction." We can't help it. We experience the world as a story we tell ourselves. ...

Q. I was wondering if you have ever regretted your transparency on the web. Has it worked as a negative or positive influence?

I was 23 years old the first time it happened. It was two hours into 1996. And I was bummed out. So I wrote down how I felt, posted it to my website, and went to bed feeling somewhat better for having verbalized it.

The next morning was a revelation. I woke up to find an inbox full of mail - people’s feelings about their new years, their lives. Some were reassuring, others we commiserative, but they all filled me with hope. Because there were people out there who felt like I did. It was the first time the web showed me the power it had to connect people based on our internal lives.

Later that year I’d start Fray, to enable other people to have that experience. There’s a reason all the stories had to be true, and each ended with a way to respond. I wanted everyone to see the connections that were possible.

Since then, I’ve turned to the web many times. The web has been my therapist, my confidant, and my friend. After 12 years of that, you’re able to learn a whole lot about me if your Google-fu is strong.

(Funny side story. My Uncle Powazek is now a judge in San Diego. To become a state-appointed judge, you have to get interviewed by the secret service. When my uncle went, the men in black said: “We did some research online and wanted to ask, who is Derek Powazek?” Sorry, Unc.)

Dispite my ongoing love affair with the web as a confessional medium, I have been selective with what I share here. There’s plenty that I don’t talk about online. And it can be tricky to decide what goes up, and what gets saved for whispered realtime conversations.

Here’s how I think about it. You should only tell your stories. There will always be stories where other people are really at the heart. Leave it to them to tell those. Tell yours instead.

But there’s the catch. Every story we tell is really about ourselves, whether we call it “storytelling” or wrap it in the cloak of “fiction.” We can’t help it. We experience the world as a story we tell ourselves. It’s just the way our brains work.

And that’s exactly why storytelling is such good therapy. If you can take something that’s happening to you, no matter how hard or messy or intense, and put it down in words, you can take control of it. If you can tell the story, it’s no longer happening to you, you’re happening to it.

The gift the web gives us is that those words, posted online, can create a bond with other people, and solicit their stories in kind. And when it works really well, that emotional back-and-fourth can create a storytelling circuit that becomes far greater than any individual contributor to it.

When that kind of magic happens, it taps into a very deep part of ourselves. It proves that, by our universal stories, none of us are truly alone. We are all of us connected to each other. Just as every breath we take has been recycled through someone else’s lungs, every personal story we have has happened to someone else, too. I find a lot of comfort in that.

So, Louise, no, I don’t for a minute regret anything I’ve ever posted online. Because the connections I’ve made with real people as a result of those virtual words mean more to me than just about anything. Without them, I never would have made it this far.

Thanks for the question, Louise.

* With thanks to Merrit Malloy who said: “Don’t ever tell a story like it wasn’t about you.” And to Ani DiFranco who sang: “Each breath is recycled from someone else’s lungs.”


http://powazek.com/

Never tell a story that is not about you. Guest opinion

Never Tell a Story Like It's Not About You
By Derek Powazek
Here's how I think about it: Every story we tell is really about ourselves, whether we call it "storytelling" or wrap it in the cloak of "fiction." We can't help it. We experience the world as a story we tell ourselves. ...

Q. I was wondering if you have ever regretted your transparency on the web. Has it worked as a negative or positive influence?

I was 23 years old the first time it happened. It was two hours into 1996. And I was bummed out. So I wrote down how I felt, posted it to my website, and went to bed feeling somewhat better for having verbalized it.

The next morning was a revelation. I woke up to find an inbox full of mail - people’s feelings about their new years, their lives. Some were reassuring, others we commiserative, but they all filled me with hope. Because there were people out there who felt like I did. It was the first time the web showed me the power it had to connect people based on our internal lives.

Later that year I’d start Fray, to enable other people to have that experience. There’s a reason all the stories had to be true, and each ended with a way to respond. I wanted everyone to see the connections that were possible.

Since then, I’ve turned to the web many times. The web has been my therapist, my confidant, and my friend. After 12 years of that, you’re able to learn a whole lot about me if your Google-fu is strong.

(Funny side story. My Uncle Powazek is now a judge in San Diego. To become a state-appointed judge, you have to get interviewed by the secret service. When my uncle went, the men in black said: “We did some research online and wanted to ask, who is Derek Powazek?” Sorry, Unc.)

Dispite my ongoing love affair with the web as a confessional medium, I have been selective with what I share here. There’s plenty that I don’t talk about online. And it can be tricky to decide what goes up, and what gets saved for whispered realtime conversations.

Here’s how I think about it. You should only tell your stories. There will always be stories where other people are really at the heart. Leave it to them to tell those. Tell yours instead.

But there’s the catch. Every story we tell is really about ourselves, whether we call it “storytelling” or wrap it in the cloak of “fiction.” We can’t help it. We experience the world as a story we tell ourselves. It’s just the way our brains work.

And that’s exactly why storytelling is such good therapy. If you can take something that’s happening to you, no matter how hard or messy or intense, and put it down in words, you can take control of it. If you can tell the story, it’s no longer happening to you, you’re happening to it.

The gift the web gives us is that those words, posted online, can create a bond with other people, and solicit their stories in kind. And when it works really well, that emotional back-and-fourth can create a storytelling circuit that becomes far greater than any individual contributor to it.

When that kind of magic happens, it taps into a very deep part of ourselves. It proves that, by our universal stories, none of us are truly alone. We are all of us connected to each other. Just as every breath we take has been recycled through someone else’s lungs, every personal story we have has happened to someone else, too. I find a lot of comfort in that.

So, Louise, no, I don’t for a minute regret anything I’ve ever posted online. Because the connections I’ve made with real people as a result of those virtual words mean more to me than just about anything. Without them, I never would have made it this far.

Thanks for the question, Louise.

* With thanks to Merrit Malloy who said: “Don’t ever tell a story like it wasn’t about you.” And to Ani DiFranco who sang: “Each breath is recycled from someone else’s lungs.”


http://powazek.com/

Hero with a Thousand Faces

November 18, 2007

Book Review: Hero With a Thousand Faces

By Rob Kall

One of the Top 100 Most Important Books of the 20th Century, Joseph Campbell's book is a treasure trove with a map inside that can help you understand some of the most important stages and journeys in your life. Or, you can use its ideas to write better stories or plan for changes, planned or unexpected, in your life, your work, your relationships...

The top 100 ranking is just my personal opinion. Joseph Campbell's Hero With A Thousand Faces was rated among the most important of the 20th century by a group of experts, and for good reason.

It's hard to find a screenwriter or movie making company that does not follow Campbell's model for the hero's journey. Campbell took what had been also described as the monomyth-- the universal story, told with the same basic pattern, by every culture, about the journey of the hero.

This monomyth is a profoundly powerful description of the process of growth, of achieving a higher level of consciousness, of being reborn as a new, stronger person. It can also be applied to organizations and even movements.

It is a natural for moviemaking and has had several books written specifically focusing on using the concept to craft powerful stories with characters with depth. It is also used to help people and therapists conceptualize the process of going into therapy and healing, finding a new job, new relationships, new activism.

Ultimately, the hero's journey is a call to wake up and become a new person-- by making a choice, then developing new skills and resources, using them to face inner and outer challenges, then bringing back the "magic elixir" the final change, to the ordinary world you came from, to heal that world.

You can also consider the hero's journey to be a roadmap that explains the stages in the process of-- the journey of-- personal change-- a map that gives insight and understanding that can be invaluable.

The hero's journey goes through stages, which I'm abbreviating. Some of the stages include, with my own interpretation:
-ordinary world
-call to adventure
-rejection of the call
-facing threshold guardians
-meeting the mentor
-crossing the threshold
-going underground or in the water-- symbolically
-starting on the road in the new world
-acquiring new skills and allies
-facing and battling antagonists
-meeting with the goddess
-at-one-ment with the father
-apotheosis
-journey to the inmost cave-- almost dying, fighting the greatest antagonist
-Final successful confrontation
-road home
-straddling both worlds successfully

At the end, the hero can successfully live in both worlds.

Whole books have been written on just one stage in hero's journey. One of the best is Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life by Greg LeVoy.

And George Lucas used the Hero's Journey in his Star Wars movies, even getting to know Campbell.

This is a concept that you can apply to your life, whenever you face or desire to make change. Or use it for your writing for your stories or even for organizational change.

I've given lectures on it for groups interested in writing, for doctors who use it to conceptualize the treatment of patients, I've used it with individual clients, and for groups who are interested in personal growth.

The book is not a quick, easy read. It's one of a very few that I've read more than once. Consider it like a favorite nature site you love to visit. Return to it and you will discover new visions and ideas you missed before and previously seen ideas that you will see with new eyes, new perspectives.

Reading the book can be, just by itself, a hero's journey, since it will wake you up. Of course, you can refuse the call. When you refuse the call, by the way, very often, the call comes back to get you, more persuasively. Remember Obie Wan Kenobe? He asks Luke Skywalker nicely to join him to rescue princess Leah. Luke rejects the call. The next day, the aunt and uncle he lives with have been murdered by Darth Vader. Like I said, the "call" comes back to get you more persuasively.

If you want to get an easier read of the concepts in this book, try the The Writers Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers, 3rd Edition by Chris Vogler. Another excellent book that builds upon Campbell's concepts and Karl Jung's ideas is James Bonnet's Stealing Fire from the Gods: The Complete Guide to Story for Writers and Filmmakers.One of the Top 100 Most Important Books of the 20th Century, Joseph Campbell's book is a treasure trove with a map inside that can help you understand some of the most important stages and journeys in your life. Or, you can use its ideas to write better stories.

The top 100 ranking is just my personal opinion. Joseph Campbell's Hero With A Thousand Faces was rated among the most important of the 20th century by a group of experts, and for good reason.

It's hard to find a screenwriter or movie making company that does not follow Campbell's model for the hero's journey. Campbell took what had been also described as the monomyth-- the universal story, told with the same basic pattern, by every culture, about the journey of the hero.

This monomyth is a profoundly powerful description of the process of growth, of achieving a higher level of consciousness, of being reborn as a new, stronger person. It can also be applied to organizations and even movements.

It is a natural for moviemaking and has had several books written specifically focusing on using the concept to craft powerful stories with characters with depth. It is also used to help people and therapists conceptualize the process of going into therapy and healing, finding a new job, new relationships, new activism.

Ultimately, the hero's journey is a call to wake up and become a new person-- by making a choice, then developing new skills and resources, using them to face inner and outer challenges, then bringing back the "magic elixir" the final change, to the ordinary world you came from, to heal that world.

You can also consider the hero's journey to be a roadmap that explains the stages in the process of-- the journey of-- personal change-- a map that gives insight and understanding that can be invaluable.

The hero's journey goes through stages, which I'm abbreviating. Some of the stages include, with my own interpretation:
-ordinary world
-call to adventure
-rejection of the call
-facing threshold guardians
-meeting the mentor
-crossing the threshold
-going underground or in the water-- symbolically
-starting on the road in the new world
-acquiring new skills and allies
-facing and battling antagonists
-meeting with the goddess
-at-one-ment with the father
-apotheosis
-journey to the inmost cave-- almost dying, fighting the greatest antagonist
-Final successful confrontation
-road home
-straddling both worlds successfully

At the end, the hero can successfully live in both worlds.

Whole books have been written on just one stage in hero's journey. One of the best is Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life by Greg LeVoy.

And George Lucas used the Hero's Journey in his Star Wars movies, even getting to know Campbell.

This is a concept that you can apply to your life, whenever you face or desire to make change. Or use it for your writing for your stories or even for organizational change.

I've given lectures on it for groups interested in writing, for doctors who use it to conceptualize the treatment of patients, I've used it with individual clients, and for groups who are interested in personal growth.

The book is not a quick, easy read. It's one of a very few that I've read more than once. Consider it like a favorite nature site you love to visit. Return to it and you will discover new visions and ideas you missed before and previously seen ideas that you will see with new eyes, new perspectives.

Reading the book can be, just by itself, a hero's journey, since it will wake you up. Of course, you can refuse the call. When you refuse the call, by the way, very often, the call comes back to get you, more persuasively. Remember Obie Wan Kenobe? He asks Luke Skywalker nicely to join him to rescue princess Leah. Luke rejects the call. The next day, the aunt and uncle he lives with have been murdered by Darth Vader. Like I said, the "call" comes back to get you more persuasively.

If you want to get an easier read of the concepts in this book, try the The Writers Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers, 3rd Edition by Chris Vogler. Another excellent book that builds upon Campbell's concepts and Karl Jung's ideas is James Bonnet's Stealing Fire from the Gods: The Complete Guide to Story for Writers and Filmmakers.



Authors Bio:

Rob Kall is executive editor and publisher of OpEdNews.com, President of Futurehealth, Inc, inventor and organizer of several conferences, including StoryCon, the Summit Meeting on the Art, Science and Application of Story and The Winter Brain Meeting on neurofeedback, biofeedback, Optimal Functioning and Positive Psychology. He is a frequent Speaker on Politics, The art, science and power of story, heroes and the hero's journey, Positive Psychology, Stress, Biofeedback and a wide range of subjects. See more of his articles here and, older ones, here